Get, the hell out!

Honestly, I feel like crying right now. I am waiting for the tears, but they are not coming out. "What the hell?" I am saying to myself. This is such a weird feeling. If somebody saw me he would think I am extremely bored. Yes, I look like that, that´s true, but inside, there is a little copy of me and she´s sitting on a floor, her mascara is completely blurred, snot is coming out of her nose and she is shouting like no one before.
Well, after a few minutes I am quite angry. Why am I not crying? I was always the one who cried for the biggest stupidities and now... What happenned?
If I cried everything would be alright. A little bit of salt water and back to a normal life. But no, my brain decided not to obey me.
So, I am starting a protest: "Let me cry!" :
- playing sad songs (effective and useful but today IT´S NOT WORKING!)
- thinking why am I sad (of course and than find myself under the table in depression? No, thank you)
-begging, remonstrating, shouting, beating (my god, who does he think he is? my brain? okay...he is)

I am without other ideas. I can´t think positive because I want to get them out.
GET THE HELL OUT!!!!!
I hope at least this will help me: