T-O-O A-C-T-U-A-L

It´s June. Nice summer evening. Well, I wish I could just sit on the balcony, drink whatever and smile to the rain. My reality: Sitting in my brother´s room in front of the PC, trying to study geography. Quite easy, you may think. Everyone knows how to find Afrca on the map. But what about industry? What about urbanisation? Still easy? So that´s why I´m sitting here pretending to be interested in a book from 1994. You see? How can I bee interested in a geography book from 1994??? Don´t get me wrong, it is not because I´m against the year, it is about the actuality. I´ve just found out that our future is gonna be very nice, really positive. The trouble is that the "future" is described like the year 2000 in this book. Tell me how can I learn something about this world when I don´t even have the right reasources. I don´t have enough time to watch the news that much. I don´t have time to search for the information on the Internet... I don´t have time, because I have to sit here and look into this damn ´94 ´s book! God, this is the level of our educational system? Look, I don´t need a brand new geography book every year (too many trees being cut down). I would be completely satisfied with recent information. The teachers are often like some stupid puppets who are just working as they´ve been told because there are some "schemes" which only allow them to teach with a book from the previous decade. I sometimes want to stand up and shout: " oh, c´mon! Have you completely lost your mind? It´s 2013 and you´re talking about the population statistics from 2003? Not actual at all!" The world has changed. If we want to stay informed about recent things we have to have accurate information from accurate resources.  
You see, some Slovak girl from high school is trying to critisize the teachers! How could she dare? Well, doesn´t matter how but you´re right.I want to critisize you. Because even though we (the students) are mean, careless and we don´t accept any authority, it doesn´t mean that we want to be stupid. It should be your priority to teach us something useful, or not? Be sensible!
Well, I finally closed the book. From 1994...my brother was born then. He´s graduated couple of days ago actually. I think I´ll go and talk to him right now. Hey, Peter, did you know that in population of China in the year of your birth was...
Hmm, golden age...

The crossroads

During the life people are living through many difficult times. Everyone knows how it feels when you´re struggling. In work, in relationship, at school, anywhere. You can have a small problem with the easiest solution ever but you still think it´s a big one.  Some people may say it´s selfish to look only after your troubles or to think about them as about the biggest and they´re right in some way, they really are. It is not good to lock up into yourself and not to notice anything around except you and your problems. But otherwise they´re completely wrong. Telll me, how can I help the others to solve their heart-breaking situations when I can´t even deal with mine. It´s true that we should help the others but when you´re here for everything and everyone, your true personality is dying inside and in the end, there will be nothing, just some kind of human body with a soul divided into thousands of pieces given to all those happily-looking people who are trying to be satisfied with your help. See? Just trying to look like that, cause the help is not enough. When you have a problem, a helping hand of your friend is not everything. The one who has to fight is YOU. So don´t be surprised if your friend won´t be that thankful beacuse of your support. You see, help is a very generous gift but if the donor is represented by some remains of a human being...not useful at all.

Well, as I said, people are struggling all the time and they´re trying to stop but it´s hopeless. People are people and they won´t be anything more. I know. It feels awful. Standing at the crossroads, looking on the left, looking on the right, trying to figure out which path is the "chosen one".  The head or the heart? The risk or safety? It´s so damn tough to make a decision!  When I choose head, everyone will be satisfied, it seems to be a sensible, reasonable choise but what about me? Will I be happy? And if I choose to follow the heart?     

Is it right? Is it ok to hurt so many people and just go and chase THE THING I think I´ll be satisfied with? And what if it won´t work? What if the risk will be the biggest mistake I could make?

You know, one of my closest told me once that if I get into this kind of situation, I should do what´s best for me. That I shouldn´t care about the others, they will be all right. And I think that my dearest brother is right. You should do what YOU consider to be the best for you. Of course, there are problems which can´t be solved like this but it is the first step, really.

Now, it´s up to you. Don´t hide, look for the solutions of your troubles. Decide however you want to. Head or heart, arms or legs, it´s your choice. But to be honest, I would prefer the heart. It´s a temple of all your secret dreams and desires. Just try to listen to it, to the bang-bang thing, and you´ll know what to do.

When I said that the help is not everything I didn´t mean it´s nothing. Listen to the song. This is one of MY helping hands. Don´t care about the video, about the appearance of the singer or whatever ;). Just the song...

The first Liza´s letter

Hello, Zuzana!

It has been a long time, hasn´t it? I don´t know if you remember me. It´s Sabrina Menitto, your Italian friend. I hope you didn´t forget  our awesome stay in Ilfracombe. It was one of the best summers ever.
As you know, I don´t have Facebook but I wanted to keep in touch with you so I found your adress and voilla, here is the letter for you. I thought that we could create something like a pen-friendship and just write to each other. So, I´ll start. (you don´t have to continue)
Well, I´ve made a couple of changes with myself since we´ve seen each other. I improved my english, this is the prove. I have a great teacher. He´s German and he moved to our village 3 months ago. His name is Herman (German - Herman, quite funny, don´t you think?) and he´s in his late 20´s. I really like him, he´s extremely cute (unfortunatelly a little bit old for me). He helped me with writing this letter to you ( don´t worry, he didn´t notice that I fancy him.) He also lent me a helping hand with changing my name.
Oh, that´s another thing. I´ve always hated the name Sabrina, you know. well, I decided to change it and after 2 weeks wondering and 6 private lessons of english I found the right one for me. Goodbye, Sabrina Menitto, welcome Liza Lerman. (the similarity between my sirname and Herman´s name is just a coincidence, I swear.) So I´d be glad if you called me like that.
Another change I did was with my hair. Could you believe that now, when I have blond head with some blue stripes, I look far better? don´t wanna sound overly self-confident but if you saw me you would definitely agree. The brown clolour was weak comparing to my new hairstyle.
I hope you won´t think i am some freaky fan but I fell in love with another boyband. Don´t be afraid, it´s not 1D, not even The Wanted or Big Time Rush. No, I´m in love with the kids of the 90´s, The BackStreet boys.At first I thought they are just 5 guys with pretty faces but without talent. Then I researched some songs on Youtube and guess what? Another poster on my "star-wall". Have to say, their production is full of typical lovesongs but they´re really catchy. Brian, Kevin, Nick, AJ and Howie. Other 5 crushes, could you believe it?
To talk about my personal life, big big nothing. Italian boys are stupid. i haven´t seen a normal one for ages. I think I have to go abroad again, at least to france or to my beloved England.
I´m sorry, talking about love ol the time but after seeing and reading Wuthering Heights I can´t think about anything else. Have you read or seen it? Classic of literature but very strong. The love of Heathcliff and Catherine...hmm. Too old-fashioned but, as I said, very very strong. I think the book was much better than the film but it´s just my opinion. Can you do me a favour, please? If you read the book or saw the film, could you tell me about your thoughts of it? I would be very happy.
well, that´s it. I think we´re at the end of the letter. After reading this you can imarine me sitting on the bed, looking at my lovely posters, listening to "I want it that way", thinking about Heathcliff (and Herman), combing my blue stripes, ignoring mum´s arguments about name Liza which are coming from kitchen.
That´s new me
I hope you´ll write me back. I´m looking forward to konw some news about you.
Hope to see you soon.

Love
         
                                      Liza

P.S.: Did you create the blog as you promised?

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Yes, Liza, I did. this is for you:

Carmine skirt with those shoes? How could she?

It´s an ordinary afternoon and I´m coming home from school. Walking through the town, looking at all those advertisements about the coolest clothes in Lindex or Mango. When I come home, I look in the mirror and I see a girl wearing some jeans, t-shirt of this colour and jacket of that colour, in sneakers, looking really exhausting. And then I think of all those good-looking girls in cute dresses, with nice necklaces and it makes me feel sick.
Have you ever been in that kind of situation?
For real,  I admire those people who can buy a sweater because it goes perfectly with that scarf and they can wear those trousers with it. They have the talent, they have the style. They can tell you which colours are good for you to wear and which are not.
As I said I admire them but at the same time I hate  them! Everytime I see them, they look perfect but when I try to look similar I feel like: "What the hell? I look awful!"
I know some of those people, I have at least 2 good friends with that kind of gift and it sounds pretty good, I know,they can help me with a lot of things. We can go shopping together! :D
Please, don´t be naive. They may want to help me but when I´m listening to them, everything I hear is: "This colour looks horrible on you." and "If I were you I wouldn´t buy it." How does THIS help you when you´re holding the most amazing shoes in the world?  Those two sentences are the last thing you would like to hear in that situation, trust me.
So, what can we do about it?
Here are some steps for you to follow:
1. Go shopping on your own or with someone who will help you, not disturb you
2. Tell your fashionable friends not to critisize your clothes
3. Try to match your clothes if you want to (I know it´s hard, just try it, it´ll help you)
4. Don´t worry, wear what you like to wear, feel comfortable!
The last one is the most important, Don´t worry, just be yourself and feel confident

(and if someone would like to humiliate your style, punch him/her to the stomach)

Get, the hell out!

Honestly, I feel like crying right now. I am waiting for the tears, but they are not coming out. "What the hell?" I am saying to myself. This is such a weird feeling. If somebody saw me he would think I am extremely bored. Yes, I look like that, that´s true, but inside, there is a little copy of me and she´s sitting on a floor, her mascara is completely blurred, snot is coming out of her nose and she is shouting like no one before.
Well, after a few minutes I am quite angry. Why am I not crying? I was always the one who cried for the biggest stupidities and now... What happenned?
If I cried everything would be alright. A little bit of salt water and back to a normal life. But no, my brain decided not to obey me.
So, I am starting a protest: "Let me cry!" :
- playing sad songs (effective and useful but today IT´S NOT WORKING!)
- thinking why am I sad (of course and than find myself under the table in depression? No, thank you)
-begging, remonstrating, shouting, beating (my god, who does he think he is? my brain? okay...he is)

I am without other ideas. I can´t think positive because I want to get them out.
GET THE HELL OUT!!!!!
I hope at least this will help me:

Thinking...

Hello, itś Zz. I´m sorry, it was a long time but now I´m back.  I couldn´t come with anything interesting, although I was thinking about my new contribution all the time. Generally thinking was the most often activity in last 6 months. No big deal, you can think. But during the last months I´ve found out that this "innocent thinking" can turn into a quite dangerous thing.

It´s like an addiction. It starts very softly. Imagine you´re sitting on a bench or in your room or you´re eating your dinner, feeling easy-going,  when suddenly your brain starts to feel boring and produce many thoughts. At first they are ok. Some of them are revolving around school, maybe around friends, around food, clothes and stuff like that. After a few minutes, your head will feel confident enough to make thoughts about more serious thngs like politics, family state and kids in Africa. The third stadium is even worse. Your future, your plans, kids or career, future friendships, what to study, what would you like to do, what makes you happy.
And after these 3 points, you´re nearly on the edge of depression. There is a little space for one thought which can turn you into a depressive psychopat or into a normal person who "doesn´t feel very comfortable in his head". You can call it as whatever you want. But it´s not good. I know what I´m talking about.
A small advice for you: DON´T THINK TOO MUCH. 
Some people can ask question: how can I recognise when I think too much? Well, it´s individual. Some people cannot recognise it at all. I have another advice, especially for those people: If you cross the line of thinking, just work or do what you like to do. Have fun.
It´s simple, but really really effective.
Zz :)

1. April - the beginning

1. April is generally the day of fools. Every year I´m "looking forward" to see my brother laughing when he catches me on some stupidity. But this year, I don´t mind. I decided to rename 1. April from The day of fools, to The day of my new beginning.
I put 3 papers on my notice board yesterday. The first one is called: Things to do (week). Theer are three things I want to do this week, for example now, there are: 1.) buy new pens  2.) help mum with preparing for easter 3.) finish reading the book I´m reading at the moment. I want to change it every week and try to do the things on the list. At least I won´t have time to think about things which are creating my problems.
The second paper: things to do (month): there are four activities I want to spend time on this month or just do them. At the moment the list looks like this: 1.) learn lockin´ (the street dance style of dancing you know), 2.) do the exercises for legs and for stomach, 3.) go to sleep everyday at least at 10:15 p.m. (you, know I am a huge sleeper and I always go to sleep very late and I am very sleepy whole nother day) 4.) keep my room tidy (very big problem for me)
And finally the third list (my favourite):TOP 5 OF THE WEEK this is the thing I want to devote my time to. The following articles will be about my top 5 of the week. I will show you what attracted my attention each week.
Here is the TOP 5 of this week:

1.) Actimel and Red Bull volleyball
this is one experience from school, P.E. lesson.  Playing volleyball and laughing and "touchdowns" and laughing and ball hitting my head and laughing.

2.) Sting - whenever I say your name (live from Berlin, ft. Jo Lawry, his vocalist)

This is one of my favourite songs of Sting. Actually, I didn´t like him at all for a long time but for the last 2 or 3 years, I fell in love with some of his songs. This is one of them. I hope you´ll enjoy it.

3.) The Hunger games
The hunger games-breathtaking trilogy with one of the most original stories I´ve ever read (and trust me, I´ve read a lot of them.). This year, the first book also became a film. I saw it and I have to say it met my expectation completely.
Wanna see the trailer? Here it is.:

4.) Ed Sheeran - The A team
                        - Lego house

Here we are. Another two songs which attracted my attention. Simple sounding guitar and lyrics written and sung by Brittish ginger singer and songwriter. What could be better to get relaxed?

Does the guy in the second video remind you of Rupert Grint, Ron from Harry Potter? You´re right! :)

5.) My half-lunches

Maybe a little bit weak end of my list, I know. Who cares that I didn´t have my school lunches for whole month and my friend was so kind that she shared her lunch with me last week?
Never mind.
So, our time is over. I hope you have a lot to watch and listen to. See you next week.
Happy day of fools (of new beginning)! :D
Zz